i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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