How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
