apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
