I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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