what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just gargled with NyQuil
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
