Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize