For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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