Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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