You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
