I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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