i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
