Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
