In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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