I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
