I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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