guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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