A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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