you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
