Me too!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
