I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
