The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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