So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
