smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
