Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
