Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
