if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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