it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
