White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
