Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
