sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
