Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
