In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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