well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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