thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
