Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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