It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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