Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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