just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
