Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
