Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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