I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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