he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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