Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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