We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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