its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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