nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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