do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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