Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
