dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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