He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
