He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
