? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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