theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
