I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
