i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
