I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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