did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize