I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
