They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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