So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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