i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
