Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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