i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
