Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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